Ugh...I hate my dryer.... especially today as I sit here trying to work with a wet, itchy butt. Thanks to the ancient washing machine & dryer that my family possesses the jeans that were in the dryer for 2 whole cycles still remain wet. It's not the first time that clothes which should be more than dry come out of that machine still damp. And since today is jeans day at work, I'll be damn if I was going to wear anything but those jeans. So after running the machine for an extra 15 minutes, I relented & slid on my warm, yet damp pants on & felt the moisture from ankles to ass cheeks. It did not take long before my Fruit of The Loom's were thoroughly wet, and after my 50 minute ride to work, I now have a full blown case of monkey butt. For those of you unfamiliar with this term, it refers to the itchy irritating condition you get when you are stuck sitting in wet pants & your ass gets all saturated. I have never looked, but I imagine my rear looking like your fingers do when you have been in the bath tub a long time, all pruney & white. Except I am pretty sure my ass is red & swollen, similar to the guy in the picture above. Regardless this morning has probably been entertaining for my coworkers watching me squirm around in my chair trying to itch my bum on my chair. I even tried using the hot air hand drier in the restroom to dry off, but that was interrupted when the boss walked in to see me with my butt in the air with the hot air flowing through my cheeks. So much for any hopes of a raise any time soon. I am hoping by lunch my jeans & me will air dry & I can finish the day enjoying the luxury of wearing my jeans at work....
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