Not Interested in Sex?

     I found this article quite interesting, and thanks to http://www.more.com/ for providing the catalyst for this post. Please follow the provided link below and read up on this topic from a woman's point of view. But my goal here is to give this man's view/experience on the subject at hand. I imagine for most guys asking if we are interested in sex is a no brainer. Although the idea that men think about sex every 7 seconds is far from accurate, see Snopes.com. I know from my own experience that illicit thoughts do come up throughout the day. Sometimes at random and inopportune times, and us guys can't hide our excitement as easy as women. But for the most part these days I have the vast number of sexual thoughts when I am around The Mrs. One might look at our marital hardships the past ten years as somewhat of a blessing. I am sure you are wondering what kind of warped thinking comes to this conclusion. So here is my thought process. Although there were some great moments under the sheets in the past, as the years progressed the times per year dropped exponentially. We were not getting along very well, and it was hard enough for us to interact civilly in a public forum let alone intimately, so sex became more of an obligation than an experience that was enjoyed, and anticipated. That said, as a result there are so many scenarios, locations, positions, etc... that we have not had the pleasure of enjoying together. As we are slowly growing closer as friends and as a couple, there has been a bit more hugging, kissing, and hand holding going on. In many ways I feel like I am at the start of a new relationship all together. At times recently I am nervous to lean in for the kiss, or to go for the spoon while in bed. Not knowing how the action will be accepted, similar to the first time I pulled the old yawn & move the arm around my girl while at the theater.
FLASHBACK ALERT(see explanation in prior post): Back in 1998 when I first started dating this incredible lady, I waited longer than I ever had before before moving in for a kiss. I was so worried about scaring her away, I wanted to be sure it felt right for both of us. I even went so far as to offer her a giant chocolate Hershey's Kiss to breach the subject. Long story short, our lips came together that night under the stars, and we shared the first of what has turned into thousands of kisses.
     I will qualify all of this by reminding you that I only speak of how I feel about things, & offer my perception of the goings on in my life.  That said, I enjoy my time with my wife more today than I have in years. We talk about more than just the mundane "How was your day?, What is for dinner? and Have the kids been good?" And communicating is getting better the more we work on it. As I share with her, and get to know new things about her, things I have over looked for way to long, I come to find myself even more attracted to her in every way. Naturally that leads to more intimate thoughts throughout the day. Especially when we are alone with the kids securely tucked in for the night. And it is more than just thoughts of just sex, although she seems skeptical that I am not using every kiss, caress, or snuggle to instigate coitus. No, I have found myself daydreaming of just laying partly clothed together watching The Soup on E!. Her head resting on my chest as I run my fingers thru her hair. Laying out in the sun next to the lapping waves holding hands and sneaking the occasion dip in the water together is an activity I find highly satisfying these days. Another activity I have been pushing for is naked movie night, but she has resisted, insistent I would only be trying to sex her up the whole time, and not watching the movie. I know better, and am not giving up on that one just yet.
     Getting older may not have decreased my sexual drive, but it most certainly has changed my perception of sexual activity. The activities leading up to intimate contact is as important to me as any actual sensual act. I think that even in a "perfect" marriage of ten years, sex would not be as fulfilling and exciting as what we had those first years of dating. Like Michelle Gamble-Risley talked about, it requires a little more thought and effort to bring some anticipation and spice back to the bedroom. Getting both of us interested in pursuing that process will take time, I know. And for my wife, if you met this smart and sexy lady you would understand, I have the time to give.
     Now guys, I will put out some advice that I believe should help facilitate getting the intimacy(and maybe a little more sex) back into your relationship. First, it is not about your dick, she is probably not near as interested in Mr Wood as you are. Have you really looked at that thing? Come on now, at best it looks like a wrinkled up Johnsonville Brat. Or for those of us of lesser stature, a wrinkled Vienna sausage. But the point is,  make the needs of your lady greater than your own and she is much more likely to give the green light. Being able to work in tight areas, operate in the dark, and strengthening the lesser known tongue muscles has never gone unappreciated, in my experience.
     Next, take a little care of yourself. As we get older, we may think that we have earned some right to let our physique go a little. Not so, that gut is not a deal sealer by any means. I doubt your woman wants some fat ass climbing over her sweating like a pig, and crushing her like a marshmallow stepped on by an elephant. Trust me you know it has gotten bad when you hear your woman commenting on the sexiness of a guy like Matt Lauer. Before it gets to that point, put down the pork sandwich and grab your running shoes. Just a little time each week can make huge improvements in a relatively short time. Next thing you know she will be using those sexy legs to wrap around you & ride you like a stallion instead of to balance herself as she mounts the Buddha.
     Talking romantically or suggestively can be your gateway to some added romance. But I am recommending you leave "Hey hot mamma, wanna fuck?" out of your repertoire. I will take my own advice and will give this a try this very moment! I'm going to go and seduce my sexy assed wife, and will return with the steamy details... She was still wet from the shower, her naked body glistening in the light. I approached, wrapped my arms around her, caressed her shoulders as my hands trickled down to her firm naked ass. I pulled her to me and whispered to her how beautiful she is and that I want to lay her down and make passionate love to her. And the results of such action.... she sent me back to my blog, balls bluer than ever! Undaunted, I still hold out that woman will succumb to sweet talk(maybe following a ruffie and gin chaser). Or maybe just work on the timing, after all it is mid afternoon, and our two boys are watching spongebob in the living room 3 feet outside the door of what would have been our love chamber.....
     Here is a final recommendation, and it is a sensitive one for me. Get that body hair under control. I don't just mean shave your chin & trim the pubes a little. That should be done regardless. No I refer to that nasty unsightly back hair, the overgrown forrest or the patchwork quilt you have going on. I unfortunately have been blessed with little tufts of hair sporadically popping up on my back, and have been informed it does not encourage her to want "rub me all over." In my case the near future holds trips to Ideal Image to get things under control with some lazer treatments.  But shaving, plucking, or waxing are alternatives even the poorest of souls can utilize. Your woman may have not even said anything, but she is thinking it. It is a rare woman who would want to be with Chewbacca, so take a look in the mirror, and if you see a manrug on your back, get rid of it. You will thank me!
    
Here is the link to Michelle Gamble-Risley's article:
http://www.more.com/2039/7514-not-interested-in-sex--you-re