Haunting good time

Halloween has always ranked up there as one of my favorite holidays. As a kid, Christmas may have promised the chance Chris Kringle was going to put that pony under my tree if I just kept being good, but it was Halloween that guaranteed I was not only going to get a giant paper grocery bag full of sugar filled delicacies, but I could dress up as scary or stupid as I wanted to in the process. Being the 3rd brother in line, I ended up with handed down costumes from years past and not all the pieces were from the same costume mind you. Since, along with being third in line, my parents did not have any money to buy those fancy store bought costumes that lined the racks of the local Montgomery Wards. So although my older brothers may have had the good fortune of getting to pick from the slightly to heavily worn costumes at the salvation army store, I was not so lucky. I remember one year I was wearing a superman cape, clown outfit, and a half shaved werewolf mask. I am sure I looked like a retarded circus freak with alopecia. But I did get a bag of candy out of the deal, so from a kid’s standpoint, it was an overall win. The older I became the more my preference of costume leaned more toward the scary and gory and further from the cute or mundane. I love haunted houses and getting the bajeezus scared out of me, so it was no wonder that my favorites houses to hit when trick or treating were those dark, eerie, ones that you just knew had someone hiding in the shadows to scare the piss out of you. No big surprise then that I strive to have one of those houses in our neighborhood, against the wishes of the Mrs be it known. I didn’t hide in the darkness to scare anyone, but thanks to my oldest son following in my footsteps, I did not have to. He managed to frighten his fare share of beggers with his black robe & killer clown mask. Once the “victim” looked up to see him coming out of the shadows with his blood covered ax the screaming ensued. We had hanging corpses, undead rising from their graves, rats eating bloody hands, and signs a plenty warning the unwanted to leave or perish. The Mr. Fix It in me got the chance to create a pretty neat crystal ball for my wife who looked the part in her fortune teller garb. The illuminated crystal ball came complete with mystic fog seemingly rising from within the table, God I love dry ice! Unfortunately the number of kids coming to our house was exceeded by the number of blood sucking mosquitoes, and the Mrs now looks like she has patches of bug bites dispersed all over her limbs. At least it gives me an excuse to rub lotion all over her! Just like prior years, my wife & I declared we are too old and will not be dressing up next Halloween. We shall see I guess! But for now, I have leftover candy to consume!