Kneel before the GOD of radio contests!

I am a God! At least when it comes to calling into radio stations to win money. In the last 13 months I have been the correct caller 4 times for a total of $2000.00. How unlikely is that you ask? Well considering the population of Tampa/St Petersburg is a few million, and if only 1% of those people were calling in to these stations, the chances of even getting through is slim. Now complicate that by having to be the 94th or 102nd caller and it becomes even more improbable! The problem with winning is now the family all start putting their hands out saying things like… “My birthday is coming,” “I want a guitar,” and even the ole “Daddy can I finally get some glasses?” Well the answer is, “So what you are old as dirt, what’s one more year,” “Guitar my ass, why do we need another dust collector,” and finally “Boy, just hold the damn book closer!” This is my money & I have some stuff that I really need. First off, my fleshlight is wore out, so that is priority one. Then there is my annual prescription to Jugs & Guns magazine which ran out in April. And let’s not forget I need to get that stain cleaned out of the car before my wife stops believing it is from spilling a cup of yogurt.


So to those of you who would like to benefit from my winnings in the future (and based on the past, odds are good I will win again), here are a few suggestions. 1)Try to help a dude out, I wouldn’t need to replace my fleshlight every 2 months if you put down the laptop occasionally & climbed up on my lap top! 2)Learn a few chords on that busted ass guitar you have just to show me you have some real desire to learn and be worthy of a new guitar! 3)As far as the glasses, still think you just need to sit up front in class & hold the book closer – got nothing for ya there!

So now back to my celebrating…. Yea me! I am the man! WooHoo! I Rock! Take that beotches!!!!!! Ok this is getting boring…… Actually, now that you all are off wallowing about not getting at my money I am feeling a little alone…
Maybe I should share, at least then I will have company in my celebration. Nah, I have a better idea, 1-800-ESCORTS, hook a brother up!


(Notice: this post is meant to be funny & light hearted I love my family & will share with them regardless, except that part about putting down the lap top.... that was serious)!