Fall out...

Yesterday was the first official day of fall here in beautiful central Florida. Not that you would really be able to tell by the signs nature offers us here. Unlike my childhood home state of Ohio, here you will find no beautiful colors on the tree’s, no migrating birds flying overhead, no chill in the air at night, not a God Damn thing to get us motivated for the coming of this year’s Holiday Season. Here people mark the start of fall by increases in afternoon thunderstorms, kids returning to school, an increase in attentiveness to tracking tropical storms, and the start of Buccaneers football. All of which, less kids back in school, are pretty irrelevant to me. The temperatures still hover in the 90’s during the day, and most nights only cool to the mid 80’s. And as the days pass & we move thru fall into winter, the temperatures may drop, but all those other things that denote a season change are missing down here, and that has helped to get me in a funk. Lop on top of that the stupid ass people who I have had the pleasure of interacting with during this week’s Full Moon, and you could say I am DEEP in a funk. Another contributing factor is that I have not worked out for a week. That just has me feeling like a pig. I am vowing to roll my fat ass out the front door tonight & run at least 2 miles & follow that up with a full weight workout. I actually feel a little better just saying that…. Or maybe that is the extra caffeine in that diet Mountain Dew?


Being in a funk sucks, especially when you know you are in one. Because every time I form an opinion on something or someone I have to step back & decide if that is really how I feel or if my normally rosy view on life is being shit on by the funk bug(yea, you read right! I am declaring that there is a funk bug going around shitting on stuff). So you take something simple and meant to be nice like a coworker telling you that your patient notes are, “concise and to the point,” add a little funk bug shit, and I hear “ Hey Dave your patient notes are too short?” The proper response would be, “thank you, I know long notes are hard to get thru when you have a doctor or patient calling back, so I try to make it easier to understand what information we need to get.” But instead I just nodded as I walked by thinking to myself, “If you want to read a novel, go buy Moby Dick! You asshat!” If anyone knows any remedies for getting out of a funk, please feel free to share. Don’t bother with the “smile & the world smiles with you” crap, or “don’t sweat the small stuff!” horseshit. As a matter of fact I have heard about all the self help bullshit I can stomach for awhile! This world needs a real self help book that puts out the truth. Something like, “Want to be Successful? Then You better be Friends with the Fucking CEO” or “Be as Happy as You Want to be, Win the God Damn Lottery!” Let’s not forget the two, sure to be best sellers, “If There is a God, he has Better Things to Worry About Than Your Dumb Ass,” and “Prevent Getting Divorced, Don’t Get Married!”

I will keep an eager eye to your suggestions…Like anyone is reading this shit any ways!