Where are My Babies?

Another summer break ended for my boys on Monday and as happy is their mother is to be free, I am not so sure I rejoice in seeing them climb back onto that giant yellow banana this year. Don't get me wrong, I am happy my children are healthy and smart, and have the opportunity to get an education. So many in the world are less fortunate. But  as far back as I can remember, the end of summer has been a sad time. When I was a kid, summer meant all the lazy days of hanging with my friends, fishing, camping, taking my dog on "adventures", and just enjoying life. I counted down the days left of summer break as an expecting mother counts down to her due date. Only I was not elated at the idea of reaching day zero. The first day of school was met with resistance, even denial at times, "No it can't be time yet! Surely I miscounted the days, there has to be more time!" As I got older the yearly ritual of "First Day of School" has even more depressing implications. Each year I see the kids climb onto that bus for the big day, I am smacked in the face with the reality that yet another year of my life has passed, and I am a year closer to pushing daisies. This year was worse than most as I faced the day as a 40 year old. Good Lord, when I used to ride the school bus, someone who was 40 was "OLD." The thought of ever actually being that old never dared enter my mind. Now I see my boys getting older with each passing year & miss having my little "Tim, Tim & Nugget" curled up on my lap. Sure they try to crawl on my lap now, but such experiences nowadays leads to back strains as well as the occasional strain to the ole sack-a-rooney as I struggle to keep them balanced on one knee and evenly distribute their weight. No, I miss the little balls of love that just fit in my arms and nuzzled up to me with all the love that only a baby/toddler can. Makes me think that I should get those days back. Sure why not, I am not THAT old am I? Hell I don't think I am firing blanks yet... If  Larry King can be fathering kids at what 90 years old, then I should have no problem. So there it was, I had come up with the perfect way to get back something I was missing, now all I have to do is get The Mrs on board, should be no problem right.
     Well, I breached the subject all wrong, I should have showed her a few You Tube video's of cute babies, then followed up with some pictures of our little Nephew E. back in Ohio, then eased the subject onto her while she was dazed & drunk on the nauseating cuteness of all those babies. Not me, I just come home from work & blurt out, "I want a new baby." Or something to that affect, which was met first with a look from her that I could only guess was to see if I was drunk or high. She, being the rational one, reminded me that she is trying to get back into the work force and a baby is not exactly conducive to this process. Not to be one to give up on hair brained ideas so easily, I suggested that maybe I should  find another person willing to "serrogate" my new daughter. Oh yes, I had made up my mind it will be a girl, and therefore the sex of said baby would be non negotiable. My wife, more annoyed with me than amused at this point, reminded me that not only is now not a good point in our marriage to have a new child, but without any medical benefits, the financial ramifications would be overwhelming. Also she had to burst that bubble and tell me that I can not be guaranteed a girl, and odds are that I would end up with a third son. Not that I have anything against another son, I love my two boys more than anything, but I had already thought out the pink color scheme of the baby room, put together a cute imaginary wardrobe of frilly dresses & hair bows, and was working on how I would fend off all the suitors who most certainly would be after my daughter, the most beautiful girl on the planet! So what if my wife is right? Yea, maybe her getting back to work and starting a life outside the four walls of our house is what we both need for her right now. Maybe I don't have medical benefits with my current employment. Maybe I am in love with the fantasy of a new baby and not really thinking about the overwhelming responsibilities of becoming a new father. Maybe I need to accept that my boys are growing up and the days of "Ride, Ride, go to Town" on my lap are over, at least for now.
I can hold out to the possibility that The Mrs will start working, realize she hates interacting with other adults and come back begging me to make her a new mommy so she can get back to being secluded in the house with a wailing baby. Ok, probably not, but there are grandchildren to look forward to right? Heck with kids "getting busy" at such young ages, my 10 year old may provide me with a grandchild with in the next 48 months or so! O God, that would be bad, I'm not sure which one would be sleeping dry through the night faster... did I say that? Well, for today I will just admit that I am not ready to grow old gracefully quite yet. Maybe I need to just dye my hair blond, get a new tattoo, and get that body piercing that I have been wanting. Or not.