A Hug by:Anonymous
No moving parts, no batteries.
No monthly payments and no fees;
Inflation proof, non-taxable,
In fact, it’s quite relaxable;
It can’t be stolen, won’t pollute,
One size fits all, do not dilute.
It uses little energy,
But yields results enormously.
Relieves your tension and your stress,
Invigorate your happiness;
Combats depression, makes you beam,
And elevates your self esteem!
Your circulation it corrects
Without unpleasant side effects
It is, I think, the perfect drug:
May I prescribe, my sweet… the hug!
And, of course, fully returnable!
Today my friends we will be discussing the downside of being too "mushy". I don't think it is any secret to people closest to me that I love affection. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, cuddling, or even just a loving glance from one you care for are all things that, in my opinion, can not be over done. However, it has been brought to my attention, that I am smothering my wife with too many hugs. This "discussion" occurred as I arrived home from work today with a song in my head and the desire to push the last few memories of another mundane workday from my thoughts via a loving embrace with my wife. I had already initiated said hug in my mind as I walked through our bedroom door in search of The Mrs. I spotted her coming from the closet with a wad of crumpled clothes in hand en route to the ironing board. The glare I received from her instantly halted any hopes of approaching for a hug, and that thought was reinforced when she mentioned she was having stomach issues again and was not in any mood to be squeezed.
There was a brief period of dismay from both of us, but then we attempted to talk civilly about the issue. (This in itself is a testament to the progress we are making in our communication abilities between each other as in the past we probably would have just slammed some doors, yelled and screamed and/or not spoken for the rest of the evening). So what I found out when we finally had the chance to talk is that my wife was feeling like a hostage to my offerings of affection. Crazy I know, but she explained it like this. She is home all day with the boys pestering her for attention. They, like their father, enjoy getting/giving hugs/kisses etc.... So she is feeling like a hug dispenser all week when she is home with the boys. Then I get home and instead of a break she now has 3 males who want her attentions. She says she dreads the weekends even more because this 3 man barrage of hugs & kisses is "a bit much". I'll be honest, I do not understand her dilemma. I am stuck working 40 hrs a week, plus add on another 10hrs drive time to and from said job each week, and that leaves very little time with the ones I truly care about. So if a whole day was spent hugging, kissing, and cuddling I would be in heaven. But The Mrs has not had the benefit of being in the work force the last 10 years. She has been stuck at home, isolated from the outside world since the birth of our first born. So as you can see she is getting a bit restless. She wants to have a career of her own, an income she can claim as her own and to interact with other adults on a regular basis. I do not begrudge her that... but I digress from our topic... Hugging. The Mrs asks that I just don't show her so much attention. Don't try to utilize so much energy trying to connect with her. It has been ten years since we have truly interacted on a regular basis & she has grown accustomed to being on her own, with little attention from me.(If this confuses you, go back to Day One post)
So there it is, sometimes affection in a marriage is a bad thing. At least when it is in overdose proportions. I of course had to research this idea to better see if we are the norm or the exception to the hug dillemma. Also to hopefully grasp what course of action to take next. I found one site in which the question was posed as to whether girls could get hugged too much. Two thirds of the woman responding said they were not thrilled with getting to many hugs from their partners, but would rather have too many than not enough(only 6 girls answered poll). So its settled then, right? Less hugging is more natural.... Well hold your cocks boys cause when in doubt look to science for the answer. I turned to Psychology Today for the answer to my conundrum. The jist I got, and I posted the link below so you can draw your own conclusion, is that if we interacted together in the most natural, carnal, way possible we would be doing a lot more than hugging all the time. So now I have two equally opposite opinions on the matter, and for my trouble things are no better with The Mrs. This leaves me with the only viable solution. Listen to the person who means more to me than anyone else on this planet. I'll start cutting back on the hugs, limit the affection, follow her lead and see how it goes. Time will tell, and I will keep you posted!
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-playing-field/200905/how-much-affection-is-normal
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