Why is it that you may be the top of the ladder in your area of academia, yet when a cell phone is added into the equation you become a stupid dipshit. This problem is not limited to those who are normally “smart” either. You inbred redneck morons become quivering blobs of stupidity when you try to function in life while operating your various cell phone, blue tooth, and hand held technology. Men & women alike are susceptible to demonstrating this phenomenon equally. Here you are walking through a store functioning like a normal competent member of the human race. Then you whip out your fancy cell phone and stare at is as if you are amazed it is making a noise & vibrating in your hand. Then with wild eyes you answer “Hello” so loud that it can be overheard anywhere within 2 city blocks, and begin acting the fool at an exponential rate. As if carrying on a loud ass conversation in the middle of the store doesn’t cause you to seem like a dumb enough asshole, then you start to walk around and try to function in whatever capacity it was your were prior to getting the call. Today I stopped to get a cup of coffee at the local Seven-Eleven, just trying to get my mind awake for the days work ahead. This rather attractive Latina lady dressed in a nice business casual outfit walks by and politely says “Good Morning” as she heads to pick up some doughnuts. But then the building is blasted with Lady Gaga’s Poker Face lyrics and this seemingly normal woman whips out her cell phone, with the speed of a wild west pistolero drawing his weapon in a duel, & squeals “Oh my God, Girl you better tell me all about last night.” This is just the start of her loud as hell conversation that covered such important topics regarding the weekend that they obviously needed to be shared with all of us. So now we have CoCo Loco blabbing in our ears as she walks around oblivious to anyone in the vicinity. This included me as she walked right into me knocking my coffee to the floor leaving half of it splashed up my leg. Not that I don’t like scalding hot liquids coming with inches of my crotch, but I was left there bouncing like a one legged kangaroo. The precipitator of this incident proceeded to proclaim, INTO HER CELL PHONE, “Some guy almost spilled his coffee on me!” She then headed to the register to further prove how asinine the phone makes her by making the cashier repeat everything 5 times because she would not shut her yap and listen.
The new breed of asshat that is overwhelming the nation is you morons and your texting. I mean texting everything….I just farted LOL, I’m bored, What are you doing, etc. If it crosses your mind it gets texted & sent to Facebook, Twitter, or any other outlet for useless communication. Then millions of other pathetic losers like you can respond that they too just farted….
With the onslaught of you shit for brain douchebags converging on our roadways with your cell phone in hand and brain turned off, it has become a daunting and tedious task to make the shortest of trips. For me, the daily 50 minute drive to and from work is an opportunity to work on my patience. It isn’t enough to be a defensive driver these days. You have to assume that the car in front of you will cross over into your lane just as you as about to them. And without a doubt they will be engrossed in a life or death conversation with someone, probably about their fantasy league stats, or some similar stupid topic. I can not count the number of near misses I have had with these shit for brain, cell phone using, driving like a retard meat heads!
I would like to believe that most of you are fairly normal, semi intelligent people when you are not within 10 feet of your cell phones. That’s why it is a shame that you have increased your own self importance to the level that you need to be using your cells 24 hours a day. But let me be the person to tell you. You’re not that friggin important. If you waited to get home & dialed that person from a land line, not only would you have saved us the unnecessary exposure to you acting like God damn insincere moron, you would see that the universe is still intact, and your conversation was/is not that time sensitive!
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