Today I am old enough to not really think too much about having performance issues in the bedroom. I can even say that I am over worrying about how my member size stacks up to my competition. Whether it is too small, too big, or just right, it isn’t changing any time soon. And judging by multiples O’s I can remember a certain someone having recently, I am going to keep to the belief that performance in the bedroom is not a problem I need to worry about these days.
So what other performance anxiety is there you ask? Well let me explain what is on my mind, in the most long winded way possible. Because that is how I roll!
As my followers know, there are followers right? I am working on bettering my marriage. I don’t say saving it, because I don’t see it as dying. Well maybe it was in a coma for a long time…. But again I digress! So in pursuit of a better relationship my wife and I have been getting out on “dates” together. I was going to say on dates more often, but since in the last ten years the number of actual 1-on-1 dates we have gone on could be counted on my right hand, I will just say we are finally going on dates. So Saturday night we talked her parents into watching both boys over night while we hit the town. The town, more precisely, was Ybor City near down town Tampa, Fl, and is worth a visit if you are in the area. Anyway, on that night we started off with a movie at the Cineplex, followed by a shared slice of key lime pie at a local diner as we awaited the start of a comedy act at The Improv, featuring the always hilarious Aisha Tyler. Once we got our laugh on we headed over to the Samurai Blue for some sushi while we planned the last hours of our evening(actually morning as it was nearly 1a.m. as we left the restaurant). We chose to hit an Irish pub to see if they were providing any live entertainment, but since they were not we ended up at a different bar with a mediocre singer who was finishing his last set as we ordered our drinks. Yes all of this in one night without a nap. Not bad for two people who’s idea of a busy night is normally just checking our kids homework, maybe watching a movie(if we stay awake), and stretching out on the couch to some Chelsea Lately just prior to hitting the rack. I had a great time, got a little buzz on courtesy of Bud Light, and enjoyed the company of my best friend, who happens to be the sexiest woman I know. But as we were at the bar listening to the singer belt out his song I was looking into my wife’s eyes and getting a feeling as though she was not happy there with me. I tried to initiate conversation, but failed miserably. I even tried to be silly and act like I was picking her up – she was not amused. I laughed it off, but inside my stomach was tying in knots. I wanted to talk with her about something other than the kids, work, or money, but found myself struggling. I thought about the books I had been reading, but since she had not finished them, I felt that conversation would have been one sided. So instead we sat pretty much in silence, people watching, finishing our alcoholic fruity drinks and not talking. At least we weren’t fighting, that is the worst silence. But the rest of the way home and most of this weekend it has bothered me that the conversation didn’t flow. Not just from me, but she was not offering up any topics either. I know we are both funny, intelligent, interesting people, who have plenty to talk about. So I am going to chalk it up to being 1a.m. in the morning after an activity filled date night. To being tired, buzzed, nauseous(for her), and spent. To that end, I will make an effort to be a better conversationalist on our next date. There are books out there for that right? But until then, if anyone reading this has any advice, any encouragement or just wants to be a dick and say something stupid, please utilize the comments below!
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